I Failed Creating This Book

by | Oct 15, 2021

Our book Forward-Facing® Freedom is completed. For me it’s reaching a developmental milestone, checking my first book project off my bucket list.

As I was wondering what to share, I thought “oh, I don’t want to make it about me.” But as I pondered further, I realized that my story is the story of Forward-Facing® Freedom. Working on this project for the last year has revealed much about myself that I do not like–my immaturity, flaws, insecurity, pride and fear.

I have inadvertently offended, annoyed, irritated, and hurt people in the process. This week I wondered…what could I have done differently?

And that’s when I got my beautiful answer.

Nothing.

The ugly I saw was only possible because I was willing to create.

Creating is messy.

Creating is vulnerable.

Creating is the essence of post-traumatic growth.

This has been the journey of creating a baby. The title, subtitle, front cover, back cover, forward, afterword, and hundreds of details needed me to fully invest without fear driving.

We cannot create while living in a fear-driven brain. When I lived bound by trauma, I was constrained to a small, safe life; one with little risk. But living resiliently means being willing to fall forward into all of my fears instead of avoiding them. I cannot grow without first failing and floundering in the process of trying.

Living in post-traumatic growth also means surrounding myself with people who are safe, who are willing to experience me in my full-orbed imperfections. When we fail forward into grace we heal the past. To J Eric Gentry for this incredible opportunity and Mollie and many others, thank you.

Jenny Brackman
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